Elvis Has Left the Building
by Anya Urameshi
Summary: Axel kissed Tavia. Hell has frozen over and pigs are filling the skies. Madhouseshipping AxelTavia with vague hints of Spiritshipping JadenJesse and Natureshipping JimLorie. Oneshot that may or may not be set just before Like Taking a TwoByFour to the Hea


A/N: So I was browsing through Yugioh GX fanfics and happened to stumble over the fact that poor Axel Brodie has maybe 8 fanfics centered around him. So, I decided to show him some love and write him a cute story.

Instead, I ended up with this. XD Just kidding. I still think its cute, it's just not what I imagined when I first started writing. I guess that's what I get for listening to Mama Mia (A-Teens cover) while trying to write an Madhouseshipping fanfic.

This story would probably take place just before Like Taking a Two-By-Four to the Head, if it weren't for two obvious plotholes, which I'm sure anyone who has read the other story will notice. Or maybe not. Lol.

Now, on with the fic!

--

It was a beautiful day.

The birds were singing merry little tunes. The wind rustled happily through the trees. Students of all status were running around being generally unproductive. Everything was wonderful.

So, why was Tavia Sinclair threatening to throw herself from the roof of the Slifer dorm?

"No! Tavia!" Lorelai Wulf (mostly referred to as Lorie by the majority of the populace, and Wolfie-chan by a few idiotic individuals coughAtticusRhodescough) yelled from the ground. The blonde girl could be seen waving her arms around in a sign of obvious distress as pleaded with the crazy brunette currently in the throws of self-angst. "Don't do it!"

"Yeah!" Olette Pearson agreed, hands clasped in front of her chest as she stared up at Tavia with wide grey eyes. "The Slifer dorm isn't high enough! If you jump, you'll just break your leg or something!"

Lorie turned and bitch-slapped Olette across the face -knocking the redhead clean out- which Tavia took as her cue to try and end her existance.

--

(One trip to the hospital wing later...)

"So," Lorie began, sitting back in her seat with a frown, "is there any particular reason why you decided to attempt suicide, or did you just wake up on the wrong side of the emo today?"

"Dangit, Lor!" Olette whined from her own chair, icepack pressed gingerly to her left cheek. "Were you TRYING to break my jaw?"

Lorie glared at her -and Olette wisely made the decision to shut the hell up, lest the blonde decide to REALLY break her jaw this time- before turning her attention back to the abnormally quiet brunette.

Tavia was currently seated at the head of a cot, knees drawn up to her chest. Various bruises and abrasions covered the girl -courtesy of her recent scuffle with Lorie after the blonde managed to catch her before the ground did thus sending the brunette into a tizzy- and she appeared to be in a mood; choosing to stare forelornly at a spot on the wall rather than answering her friend's question.

"Oh! Does this have anything to do with Axel?" Olette asked, in an odd moment of clarity that left Lorie stunned and unable to stop Tavia from jumping off the bed and attempting to strangle their redhaired friend.

"Why would that asshole have anything to do with anything?!" Tavia yelled. Olette managed to free herself from the other girl's grip and proceeded to manuever the brunette in a headlock out of fear for her general well-being (Olette's, not Tavia's).

"So, it IS Axel," she mused while Tavia struggled against her grip and tried to kick her. Olette lifted her up so she was in a full-body hold so she would stop. "What happened?"

"Nothing!" Tavia growled. Lorie let out a sigh and reached into her bag for rope which she and Olette then used to tie the stubborn girl down to a chair so she couldn't carry out any more murderous actions.

"Now," Lorie stated, pulling her chair over so she was situated in front of the brunette, "we can do this the easy way, or Olette can sing. You're choice."

Tavia turned her head to the side. Lorie looked to Olette, who shrugged and opened her mouth.

"I love you! You love me!" The redhaired girl sang in a high and slightly off-key tone. "We're a happy family! With a great big hug! And a kiss from me to you! Won't you say you love me to!"

Tavia's eye twitched, but still she sat in silence. Olette frowned and decided that drastic times called for drastic measures.

"HEY THERE DELILAH! WHAT'S IT LIKE IN NEW YORK CITY?" She sang loudly, practically yelling the lyrics. "I'M A THOUSAND MILES AWAY BUT GIRL TONIGHT YOU-"

"Okay!" Tavia shreiked, struggling wildly against her bonds. "I give! I give! Just make it stop! Please!"

Olette cut off with a smile while Tavia shuddered and Lorie crossed her arms, moving so she could look the brunette in the eye.

"Now, what's up," the blonde inquired, a hint of worry in her voice. Tavia frowned, casting her eyes away as a dark blush stole over her face.

"Axel..." she muttered. Her two friends leaned in eagerly. "...kissed me."

Silence permeated the room. Lorie and Olette exchanged looks before promptly bursting into racous peals of laughter (at which point, it was probably a good thing Tavia was tied down, otherwise she might have tried to stab them both with a scapel).

--

(Meanwhile on the other side of this fanfic...)

"YOU KISSED HER?!" Jim Cook was yelling at the occupant of his bed as he almost fell from the stool he had situated himself on.

"It was an accident!" Axel Brodie defended, sitting up so he could glare at his friend.

"How do you "accidentally" kiss someone?" The Australian inquired as he quickly righted himself.

Axel opened his mouth, then closed it again when he realized that he had just backed himself into a corner with no possible hope of escape. "Ah..."

He then did the only thing his poor confused brain could think of. Which was hightail it out of the other boy's room in a speedy getaway before the croc-man could fully register what had just happened.

"Ah, hell," Jim muttered, darting after him. "I thought we had cured him of that problem."

--

(Flashback to earlier that day...)

Axel was on the hunt. He knew he wouldn't be at the Academy for too much longer, and he wanted to get this particular event over with. If the stint to the Shadow Realm had taught him anything, it was that running away was the coward's way out. And Axel Brodie didn't want to be a coward anymore.

Axel had liked one girl since he first entered Duel Academy. She was a nice girl -long, dark, brown hair; green eyes; and the ability to knock a person on their ass in two seconds- and he entertained the idea that she may even like him back -not likely, he knew, given the way she acted around him, but a guy can dream. Even if she didn't, at least he could say that he had done it and move on with his life.

So when he came upon his dream girl, he tapped her on the shoulder, waited for her to turn, kissed her soundly on the mouth, and walked away before Tavia could get the wits about her enough to retaliate in some form of violence.

--

(Back to the present, in a random hallway somewhere...)

Jesse Andersen sighed loudly in boredom as he walked along in search of something to entertain himself with. Ever since Jaden had decided to go emo, life had pretty much sucked for the blunette -who was steadily coming to the realization that without Jaden, he was pretty much screwed as far as self-happiness was concerned.

Just as Jesse was about to give up and go find some random bad guy from Jaden's forgotten past to kidnap him again, mercy came in the form of Axel running past him screaming something about a right to privacy (silly Axel, there's no such thing as privacy at Duel Academy!). A moment later, Jim ran by weilding a blow-dart gun (how he got that through customs? the world may never know).

Jesse watched his two friends for a moment in bleary-eyed curiousity, before straightening up and pumping his fist into the air with a war-cry.

"TO THE PLOT!"

And then he ran after them.

--

(Back with the girls...)

If looks could kill, Lorie and Olette would have been skewered, shot, maimed, shish-ki-bobbed, thrown to the fishes, burned alive, and headless. Fortunately, Tavia is not a reverse-nirvana preist who can kill people with her mind, so her friends were safe.

Until she managed to chew through her ropes. Then she was going to kill them both with a spork.

"So, Axel kissed you?" Lorie repeated, which did nothing to make Tavia feel less like killing her, but the blonde was a master in the ancient art of "I-Don't-Give-A-Fuck-No-Jutsu" and thus didn't give a fuck (wow, that was redundant).

"Like how?" Olette asked. The other two girls turned to give her incredulous looks which caused her to blush deeply. "I ment like did he just jump out an randomly do it, or did you know it was coming?"

"More importantly," Lorie stated -to which Tavia and Olette's "Lorie's About to Say Something Perverted" lights started flashing-, "was it just a peck, or was there tongue invovled."

"EWWW!!" Her friends shreiked in utter disgust -Olette at the idea of anyone kissing with tongue; Tavia at the idea of Axel kissing HER with tongue.

"Um," a voice began from the doorway to the hospital ward. "What are you guys doing? And why is Tavia tied to a chair?"

The three girls stared up into the bewildered face of Sadie Kurosaki.

"Tavia did it," Lorie and Olette stated simultaneously, pointing at the bondaged girl.

"Actually," Tavia muttered, a sad expression stealing over her face, "Axel did it."

--

(Another Flashback to earlier that day...)

When Tavia found herself being jerked around by some mysterious source, she prepared herself for the fight she was sure was about to go down. What she wasn't prepared for, was Axel kissing her.

Tavia didn't even have time to get used to the feeling or decide whether she wanted to punch him in the face or -what the hell?- kiss him back, before the African was already walking away and Tavia was left wondering when the universe had decided that it hated her so much.

--

(Back to the present with the girls this time...)

"Are you sure untying her was a good idea?" Lorie whispered to Sadie as they watched their brunette friend stare off into space like she was remembering something awful.

"She's been staring at nothing for the past ten minutes," Sadie informed the blonde with a bored expression. "I don't think she's going anywhere."

"You're probably right," Lorie paused, lifting her head to sniff at the air. She then jumped up and ran out of the hospital ward. A moment later; Jim and Jesse entered, carrying an unconcious Axel between the two of them. The two boys lay their friend down on a vacant cot before noticing that the room wasn't unoccupied.

"Oh...hey, sheilas," Jim greeted, tipping his hat slightly. He glanced around curiously between the three of them.

"Lorie isn't here," Sadie told him with a slight smirk, knowing exactly who the Australian was looking for.

"Yeah," Olette agreed. "She left like two seconds before you guys came in. I think she's avoiding you."

"She probably is," Jim sighed.

"What happened to him?" Sadie asked, pointing at the sleeping Axel.

"Had to knock him out," Jesse explained. "He wouldn't talk to us."

"Yeah," Olette nodded in understanding. "I know what you mean. We had to tie Tavia up before she'd tell us anything."

Everyone turned to stare at Tavia, who was now staring at Axel with an odd look. She seemed to be fighting with herself over something as she stood and walked over to sit on the hospital bed.

Nobody was too surprised when she hauled off and slapped the boy across the face, effectively waking him up.

"What the-" he muttered, attempting to sit up. Tavia shoved him back down and moved so she could stare down into his face with an angry expression.

"You don't kiss somebody and just run away, you asshole," she growled, shaking him slightly.

The next thing she did shocked everyone in the room -even Tavia, but especially Axel.

Tavia leaned down and kissed him. Olette quickly managed to take a picture -even though it was gross, she knew Lorie would want to see this- before being dragged from the room by Sadie to find their blonde friend all about it.

As the kissing led into a small make-out session, Jim decided he wasn't needed anymore and left -dragging Jesse (who was crying for some unknown reason) behind him.

And thus, hell froze over, pigs started flying, and Axel and Tavia started dating.

Elvis Has Left the Building

(In other words: this is the end folks)


End file.
